“I’m tired of going out.” Translation: “I’m a loser and I’m not willing to improve myself.”
Dating and going out in your 20s will dramatically improve your bank account. Being a player will help you win at money and life. When I see a friend settle in their love life it makes me sad. Chances are that they’re going to quit working out, stop focusing on their business-related goals, and just coast.
You need to go out and meet chicks in your 20s. You need to go through a period where you’re a serial dater and you focus on bachelorhood. You need to experience life as a single, independent and absolutely care-free person. This doesn’t have to be your entire 20s. This could be a summer or a month of travel.
The greatest skill in your 20s is the ability to sell. You’re always selling yourself (job interview, products, dates, promotions at work, etc.). I hate seeing friends miss out on opportunities just because they were intimidated by the idea of selling.
I recently read an article from a gentleman who reflected upon his summer of bachelorhood. Keaper writes:
“I truly do believe that everyone should use this method of hardcore dating at one point in their lives. It shows you a part of yourself that you’re not used to seeing and puts everything in perspective.”
I’ve had some great girlfriends who inspired me. However, I really grew the most when I was a single brute looking to court and trying to figure out how to make myself more desirable.
Let’s look at some of the best reasons for why meeting girls will improve your life dramatically.
“If you don’t ship, you actually haven’t started anything at all. At some point, your work has to intersect with the market. At some point, you need feedback as to whether or not it worked. Otherwise, it’s merely a hobby.” — Seth Godin
Yes, this quote also applies to your social life. It’s easy to settle. It’s easy to say that you’re not interested in a social life. Anyone can say that they’re not into courting.
The best reasons that I could think of for why you should try being a serial dater are…
You get better at speaking.
How are your speaking skills? Can you carry on a conversation?
You likely can’t carry a conversation with a stranger. You likely can’t approach a stranger. Chances are that you get nervous at the thought of approaching someone “out of your league.” I want you to improve your speaking skills.
When I went to FinCon (a conference for personal finance bloggers) in 2011, I was terrified at the thought of doing any public speaking. This year, I was excited about giving a talk and the feedback made me smile!
By going out and trying to meet new people, you get better at speaking. I don’t want you to be intimidated by the thought of speaking to strangers or in front of a crowd.
You’ll become better with your money.
Going out forces you to spend money. This means that you better figure out your finances right away or else you’re going to end up broke. You’re also going to see where you can cut back on the expenses so that your lifestyle becomes sustainable.
You always want to improve yourself.
We all get lazy in a relationship. It’s natural. When you’re single, you want to improve yourself and do whatever it takes to get better. You want to train, go on adventures, and try new things. This all changes when you settle down.
We all have that friend who texts like crazy when their partner leaves them because they want to train and hang out now all of a sudden. Don’t be that friend.
You get better at selling yourself.
Can you sell yourself? How are your marketing skills? When’s the last time you sold something?
I’m confused when I meet other wrestlers or authors that are scared out of their minds to approach a female. How are you going to entertain a whole crowd or go on a speaking tour if you’re afraid to say hello? How can you sell a product online if you can’t open your mouth to start a conversation?
You’re never bored.
“Went to the zoo with my girlfriend. Here’s a lame picture to prove it.”
*Not exact photo caption on Instagram.
Zzzz. Some of my friends used to be so fun. Now they sit around and never come out anymore. They post pictures from the zoo or from the coffee shop where they’re sipping on vegan lattes. When you’re single you never know what’s going to happen. You could wake up one day and then find yourself on an afternoon date having a blast.
Something as simple as a weekend escape with your buddies will get you excited and lead to wild stories for years.
You’ll make more friends.
Every guy wants to hang out with the guy who hangs out with pretty females. Just by going out so much, you’ll see new faces and make new friends as opposed to being stuck in the same rut.
You also can’t turn a necessity into a virtue.
If you’ve never focused on self-development, I don’t want to see you give up. Take a few months or even a year to work on yourself. Take some dance lessons, change your lifestyle, pick up a few new hobbies, start working out, and become the kind of person that you would like to meet.
What do you need to watch out for?
The biggest issue is getting too consumed with the game. It can easily take over your life. In the summer of 2010, I couldn’t focus on anything. I just wanted to go out and have fun. I’m not impressed with the quality of articles from then. That was my summer of extreme bachelorhood. Now I’m strictly focused on business and training.
You can blow your savings.
I have friends who spend a fortune every time they go out to court. It makes me cringe watching them buy drinks for any female that even walks by them.
You might miss out on love.
I won’t get sappy here since this article is about money. I don’t want you to miss out on love because you’re too busy impressing your friends. This is my life story.
What’s next? Stop posting motivational quotes!
Improve yourself and enjoy being a bachelor (or bachelorette) for a bit. Stop being so desperate. Stop looking for approval. You don’t need it. You don’t need another motivational quote either. You need to improve yourself. You need to make yourself as desirable as possible so that you don’t struggle in your personal or professional life.
I wrote the best possible topic on the book because I felt it was my moral obligation.
What’s in here?
- Tips on how to become the most interesting man in the world.
- Signs you’re in the friend zone.
- Why your life sucks because you’re in the friend zone (hint: you don’t go after what you want).
- Everything possible about making yourself more desirable.
What did the readers say about it?
“So when I met Martin (who himself has been an escapee of this dreaded zone) and he told me how he was going to write a book to help guys not only escape, but stay clear of this social black hole, I knew it would be spectacular. And sure enough, after going through this literary life saver myself, I can say that it does not disappoint. You’ll breeze through it in one evening because it’s written so well and is entertaining.
In fact, if you’re ‘in the zone’ right now, I’m almost jealous. Why? Because you’ll not only have an easier time escaping than I did, but the tips and tricks Martin shares helps you understand women on a deeper level. You’re learning from a guy who I’ve personally watched attract good looking women and when they tried to put him in ‘the zone’, he shut them down before they had half a chance.
Do yourself a favor and get this book. I’m sure you’re a good guy, you deserve a girl who I know you’ll treat well. You just have to show her your true self as a man. Oh and also, going without sex for 12 weeks or longer has been clinically shown to drop Testosterone levels to those of a squeaky voiced child… and you definitely don’t want that. Get on it!” — Sahil M
At the end of the day, I want you to try being selfish for a period of time while you try to get ahead. I would love to hear from the single folks and the married crowd out there to see when you’ve felt the most productive.
1 thought on “Why Being a Player Will Help You Win With Money”
Dude, you are hilarious. I love how “bro” these posts are.
I’ve felt most productive when I was doing sales and actively pursuing dating. It was as if when I got better in one field, I would also get better in the other. They fed off each other. I’m not sure which one came first, but at the time, it didn’t really matter. I was growing while at work and in my mating life.
On the other hand, when I gave my dating life everything I had, grew some serious balls and faced a bunch of fears, I was totally unproductive at everything else in my life at that specific time. But, what happened was, soon after the dating phase, I started taking on other pursuits and realizing that I was a totally different person. I had flexed my courage muscle enough and changed who I was. Then, I was even more effective at the stuff I took on than I was in the salesmen days. So, perhaps it’s not a bad idea to give something 100% of your attention and focus, even if it’s your dating life, for a period of time. But then again, I was never really good at achieving balance 😉