“Publishing a sophisticated men’s magazine seemed to me the best possible way of fulfilling a dream I’d been nurturing ever since I was a teenager: to get laid a lot.” — Hugh Hefner
When’s the last time you had sex?
Don’t worry, I don’t expect you to answer.
Everyone is a hypocrite when it comes to financial advice. We judge others for their spending. We give advice when we can’t relate at all. And nobody ever discusses the REALLY important topics. I’m sick of it.
“You should stop going out so much and just stay in.”
A married friend shared his unsolicited advice with me. Most of my married friends do this. They don’t understand nor can they relate. When you’re married, life is a whole lot different from when you’re single and on the prowl. There are also different stages of being single.
Long story short: Sex is everything in your 20s. It impacts every decision you make financially. Don’t even try to lie to me.
After reading about sex vs salary by Ramit Sethi, I realized that I needed to just tackle the subjects that nobody else is willing to. I have no idea why personal finance blogs have never covered this topic.
We all love to discuss the following on financial blogs:
- Ways to get out of debt.
- Top 8,000 ways to save a dollar on random scenario.
- How-to make more money.
- The best strategy for saving $10 (usually involves cutting your own hair).
- And so on.
I love these topics as well. But there’s more to saving money and life in your 20s. This is one of the hidden subjects that nobody ever covers.
We looked at the economics of your love life in your 20s. We dissected everything from spending money on dating sites to saving money by dating. Today we’re not going to discuss much about relationships.
Sex is everything when it comes to personal finance.
Sex is everything when it comes to personal finance and nobody touches upon this subject.
“The moment that you feel that, just possibly, you’re walking down the street naked, exposing too much of your heart and your mind and what exists on the inside, showing too much of yourself. That’s the moment you may be starting to get it right.” – Neil Gaiman
Don’t even try to fool me. Seriously. You see, being financially free is absolutely useless if it means staying in and not getting laid ever. Sorry to break it to you. You can have all of the money in the world, but if you don’t have sex, you’ll never be happy.
Have you ever heard of a dude getting laid and then getting into a fight on the way home or being pissed off at the world? Nope.
Don’t even try to send me some crap about how you don’t need it and are happy with just hanging out alone. I can spot if someone hasn’t been laid in a while. You can see it in their body language and how they walk or approach life.
How about some interesting research on sex and money?
Have no fear because I did some research on this topic. According to this article on CNN about sex and money…
“Researchers at Dartmouth College and the University of Warwick, England, measured levels of happiness in 16,000 men and women. They found that the more sex people had, the happier they were, regardless of their age or whether they were male or female.”
Filed under : DUH! You don’t want to be a miserable jerk, do you?
The next one is pretty interesting…
“The researchers even found that sex is so closely tied to happiness that they estimated increasing sexual intercourse from once a month to once a week would have the same mood-boosting effects as adding $50,000 a year in income.”
Who doesn’t want to make more money? More sex = more money. Get started, champ!
“Sex triggers the release of various brain chemicals, such as dopamine, vasopressin and oxytocin, which are associated with creativity, problem-solving, cooperation and confidence.”
Makes sense. Nobody has ever felt sad afterwards. Well, unless they spent a great deal amount of money that they didn’t have on it.
Why is sex so important?
How does sex impact your finances in your 20s? What does it have to do with anything?
Nothing else will ever impact your spending the way that the pursuit of sex does. It’s not just about sex. It’s all about becoming attractive and pursuing happiness. It’s about boosting your self-confidence. It’s about being happy. It’s about feeling good. It’s about feeling wanted.
Your pursuit of sex will impact your spending in the following ways:
- The money you directly spend on dates.
- Money spent on going out often (everything from drinks to cabs).
- The time you invest in courting someone.
- The 3 hours a night you spend on Tinder.
- Everything you do to look better (new clothes, gym membership, shoes, and so on).
- How you approach life. When not getting laid, it’s easy to be miserable at work and around your friends.
- And so much more that I can’t even think of right now.
Time to ask an important question…
Which do you need more of: money or sex? I don’t know?
Professor David Blanchflower of Economics at Dartmouth College said it best with:
“It’s true that money impacts which person you marry, but money doesn’t impact the amount of sex you have.”
In other words, don’t blame your empty pocket for a boring love life!
Okay, I get it. What do I do, Martin?
[While we’re on a roll, don’t forget to check out our guide to destroying all self-doubt when trying anything new.]
You have to accept what it is! My tips here are simple. There are two things that you absolutely need to do right not when it comes to sex and money in your 20s.
1. Be honest to yourself about how much money you’re going to spend on the pursuit of love.
You’re going to go out. You’re going to spend money on clothing, dating, and trying to have a good time. Don’t deny it. Don’t lie to yourself. Here’s what you do:
- Plan for it.
- Budget for it.
- Make it a priority.
- Don’t feel guilty about it.
- Stop lying to yourself.
You can open up a separate tab in your checking account where you allocate a portion of your paycheck to the pursuit of love. The amount of money depends on how much you make and how aggressive you are here.
The next step is…
2. Figure out how to save money when dating!
I can’t stress the importance of this enough. Too often do I see friends blowing their paychecks on dates and drinks for girls and becoming a “player.” STOP IT!
Figure out how to save money here. My best tips for going out in your 20s are:
- Stop relying on the bar scene. Try meeting people in everyday life. You don’t have to go clubbing to meet someone.
- When you do go out, stop buying drinks for anyone that will even look in your direction. Ugh. Buy a drink for your friends. Don’t throw money at every single girl in the building.
- Stop getting so freaking wasted! You’re not charming when you can barely stand. We’ve all been there. It’s fun. It’s a good laugh. I get it. It almost never works. If you want to get blind drunk, go to a house party with your friends.
- Dress well without stressing about brands. Find someone that dresses well and go shopping with them. Find ways to look good without breaking the bank on expensive brands.
- Try to get work done. Get your work done and focus. Dating comes after that. Try not to let the chase consume your life.
Good luck with your adventures you crazy bastards!
I’ll be here egging you on and helping you keep your savings account is full while you look for love.
“Money, it turned out, was exactly like sex, you thought of nothing else if you didn’t have it and thought of other things if you did.” — James A. Baldwin
10 thoughts on “When’s The Last Time You Had Sex? (The Most Important Financial Topic Nobody Else Will Touch)”
I can agree that I’m much happier when I’m getting sex regularly. But my overall finances don’t seem to change with our sexual energy, LOL. Right now, my husband is recovering from hurting pretty much every muscle in his body last weekend, but we still fit in some fun. 🙂 Anything’s possible when you are properly motivated. 🙂
Hahaha thanks for the input. I have no response.
I agree spending habits are totally different from the married verses single point of view in certain categories, especially when it comes to appearance. As you probably know I was married (and divorced).
When I was married I really didn’t care too much about how I dressed (or looked for the most part.) I was content with t-shirts, jeans, and boots. Then a few months after being single I found myself buying new clothes about every other weekend (when I didn’t have my kids) I also started getting my hair professionally done which I never did when I was married. You might not realize it but when you’re single you’re definitely much more inclined to want to look attractive and therfore you’ll spend much more money in that area.
With that said there are also a hell of a lot of ways you can save money by being single too!
Oh you can definitely save tons of money being single. Thanks for your candid thoughts Alexa.
Isn’t it funny what you notice when you’re single? You worry about new cologne and things that you didn’t think about before.
Well, I suppose you can frame the discussion in terms of sex. I would think you may be able to make the same point with a discussion of searching for love, or perhaps from a quality of life standpoint. In any event, I think you are right when you say that its often overlooked by many in the financial advice business.
It is definitely overlooked by those in finance. Why sow you think this is?
I think I can live without sex because my husband is working in another place. 🙂 In order for us to live, we need money, when we married 9 years ago, honestly, we are not yet financially stable at that time because we were very young before but then sex is not an issue with us. 🙂
I have been reading your site for a while now Martin and I realize that you are talking to people older than me. I also realize that to many I am just a naive 18 year old girl who happens to be proud of my virginity and simply do not think in terms of ‘getting laid’.
That said, do you really believe the things you have written here? Do you really believe that having sex is the ultimate goal in life for every 20 year old everywhere? Do you really believe that sex is ‘everything’ and that it ‘impacts every financial decision’ you will ever make?
I can only hope that you wrote this just to get a reaction from people and get them thinking.
The thought that I might someday come across someone who has taken your advice here is truly revolting to me. To think that some man I might have a date with would have set aside ‘getting laid’ money is horrifying. I may be the only person in the world who feels this way – but I had to say something.
You are awesome Martin and have a great site but I really think you missed the mark this time.
“Wow, he’s using all his ‘getting laid’ money to take me to a fancy restaurant and out on the town just so he can get sex from me – how romantic.” Said no girl EVER.
Thanks for the candid thoughts Eva. This article was directed at guys in their 20s. Sorry if it offended you.